Travelling solo as a mature woman is liberating, empowering, and downright fabulous. But let’s be honest — occasionally, it also involves fielding a bit more male attention than you’d like. Whether it’s the overly helpful waiter in Rome, the chatty seatmate on the night train to Budapest, or the overly amorous tour guide who just won’t take a hint, learning how to handle unwanted attention with grace (and maybe a touch of British sarcasm) is part of the solo travel toolkit.
So, how do you say “thanks, but no thanks” without being rude — or compromising your safety? Pour yourself a cuppa, and let’s dive into some practical, respectful and occasionally hilarious strategies for navigating those moments with style.
Why You Attract Attention as a Solo Female Traveller
Let’s address the (handsome) elephant in the room. You’re out in the world, solo, confident, and let’s face it — looking pretty fabulous with your linen trousers, wide-brimmed hat, and that air of mystery. To some, that’s practically an invitation.
In many cultures, a woman travelling alone can be a curiosity, especially if you’re over 50. You might be mistaken for a rich divorcee, a spiritual seeker, or — heaven help us — someone looking for love in all the wrong piazzas.
Rest assured, you don’t need to change a thing. This guide is about empowering you to handle attention, not encouraging you to shrink from it.
- Learn the Local Norms (Then Ignore the Ones That Don’t Suit You)
Before you head off to Morocco, Mexico or Milan, take a few minutes to research the local customs. In some countries, it’s common for strangers to strike up conversations. In others, direct eye contact is an invitation. (Who knew your polite British gaze could be so flirtatious?)
Once you know what’s “normal,” you’ll be better equipped to spot when someone is crossing the line from friendly to far too interested. Knowledge is power — and confidence is your best deterrent.
- Master the Art of the Polite Deflection
As any British woman knows, we’re experts in saying no without actually saying no. It’s practically a national pastime.
Here are some tried-and-tested phrases for when you’re cornered by someone who thinks you’re their destiny:
- “Oh, you’re sweet, but I’m just here for the architecture.”
- “I’m flattered, but I’m really enjoying my own company right now.”
- “I’m meeting someone in five minutes.” (This could be a friend, a date, or your imaginary Alsatian named Nigel. No one needs to know.)
Use a warm smile and an even warmer exit strategy. Body language helps too — step back, avoid prolonged eye contact, and start walking while you talk.
- Have a “Boyfriend Back Home” (Even If You Don’t)
It’s amazing how effective the fictional boyfriend/husband/partner can be when you want to escape attention without offence.
Create a convincing backstory if needed:
“My partner’s meeting me here tomorrow. He’s 6’4″, used to play rugby, and gets terribly jealous. It’s adorable, really.”
It’s cheeky, it’s harmless, and it often works like a charm. Bonus points if you name-drop a common male name from the local culture — it’ll sound just believable enough to be left alone.
- Use Props to Your Advantage
Sometimes, a book is more than just a good read — it’s a social shield. Ditto for headphones. Walking confidently with a camera or notebook can make you look busy, purposeful, and far too professional to be flirted with.
And if someone still interrupts you? A simple raise of the eyebrows, a polite smile, and the good old “Sorry, I’m in the middle of something” can work wonders.
- Call on the Sisterhood
One of the absolute joys of mature solo travel is how often other women will look out for you — whether you’re navigating a crowded bazaar or dodging Casanova at the beach bar.
Don’t be afraid to link up with fellow female travellers, join a group tour for a day or two, or sit near families and older couples in restaurants and cafés. Safety in numbers isn’t just practical — it’s often great company too.
And if a local woman gives you the side-eye while someone’s chatting you up? Trust her instincts. Women all over the world have an uncanny radar for nonsense.
- Be Direct — But Still Delightfully British
There are moments when subtlety doesn’t cut it. If someone is being pushy, invasive or downright creepy, don’t worry about being “nice.” You can be firm, polite and true to your values.
Try:
- “I’m not interested, thank you.”
- “Please leave me alone.”
- “This conversation is over.”
Say it clearly, calmly, and without smiling. Sometimes, “no” needs to be a full sentence. You’re not being rude — you’re setting boundaries. And boundaries are beautiful things.
- Develop Your ‘Don’t Mess With Me’ Face
You know the one. That look that says: I’ve survived the 70s, raised two teenagers, and reprogrammed my WiFi on my own. I am not to be trifled with.
Use it liberally. Especially in airports, train stations, or anywhere someone’s angling to sit just a bit too close. Your expression is your first line of defence.
Combine it with upright posture, a purposeful stride, and the confident aura of someone who’s got dinner reservations with Judi Dench and has no time for nonsense.
- Trust Your Gut (It’s Probably Right)
If something feels off, it probably is. Women’s intuition is powerful — especially when we’ve got 50+ years of experience behind it.
Whether it’s a tour guide who won’t stop messaging, a man who insists on walking you back to your hotel, or someone who seems “too helpful,” you don’t owe anyone your time, attention, or gratitude. Your comfort matters.
Remember: you are not overreacting, you are protecting your peace. And that peace is sacred.
- Embrace the Power of “No, Thanks” in Every Language
Learning “No, thank you” in the local language is a game-changer. So is “I don’t speak [language]” — even if you do. It buys you a quick out without being impolite.
Here are a few handy phrases to add to your travel phrasebook:
- Spanish: “No, gracias.”
- French: “Non, merci.”
- Italian: “No, grazie.”
- Turkish: “Hayır, teşekkürler.”
- Arabic: “La, shukran.”
Say it with a smile — or don’t, depending on the situation — and keep it moving.
- Remember: You’re Allowed to Take Up Space
This is your trip. Your adventure. Your story. You’re not being rude by saying no. You’re not being unfriendly by setting boundaries. You’re being a woman who knows what she wants (and more importantly, what she doesn’t).
It’s not your job to make others feel comfortable at the expense of your own wellbeing. Travelling solo as a mature woman is about freedom — and that includes the freedom to say no, thank you, or not today, or even “buzz off” if the moment calls for it.
Final Thoughts: You’re Not Alone
If you’ve ever felt uncomfortable or unsure about how to handle unwanted attention while travelling solo, know this: you’re not alone. Every woman has a story. And every woman also has the power to take charge of her own narrative.
With a few polite phrases, a splash of humour, and the confidence of someone who has absolutely earned her passport stamps, you can travel the world — on your own terms.
So pack your bag, wear that gorgeous scarf, and remember: just because you’re solo, doesn’t mean you’re available. And no, darling, you do not need to “just have a coffee” with that man in the fez.
Safe travels — and keep that eyebrow raise ready.
